Who stole the cookie from the Wookie Cookie Jar?
by Da2187Luke
Summary: One terrible day Mace Windu discovered that the last of his beloved cookies is gone. If you review me, I will review you. Also read my Attack of the Comedians!
1. Default Chapter

Who Stole the Wookie Cookie from the Wookie Cookie Jar?  
  
Narrator: Hullo all, 'tis your fiendly narrator Darth Asmodeus (i.e. Da2187luke with and identity crisis.)   
I am here to present to my beloved audience the tale of the terrible day when Mace Windu discovered that the last cookie from the cookie jar had been stolen.  
Windu then proceeds to question several Jedi and other people...  
  
Nar: Mace Windu was walking along the bright shiny halls of the Jedi temple, when he heard a loud rumbling.   
He whipped out his lightsaber and slashed up the nearest cleaning droid before realizing that it was his stomach, that horrid thing.   
  
Windu: I should get that removed one day...  
  
Nar: Windu force ran to his quarters, trampling the young 2 yr old padawan who would have brought balance to the force in the process.   
But when he reached inside the jar...  
  
Windu: Lord Above! The last Wookie Cookie is gone! It was the last one! I can't believe it! The last cookie is always the best   
because its the most crumbly and stuff and its the last. Who could have done this?!  
  
Nar: Windu paced around thinking very hard.  
  
Windu: Ow!  
  
Nar: Not that hard Windu...  
  
Windu: *force thinks* Yoda! Get over here right this instance!  
  
Nar: Yoda flies over on his little tray  
  
Yoda: What this emergency be?  
  
Windu: Some one has stolen my last Wookie cookie from the Wookie cookie jar! Was it you?  
  
Yoda: me who?  
  
Windu: Yes you!  
  
Yoda: *waves hand with force* not be me  
  
Windu: Than who?  
  
Nar: lalalala lalalala dundundun (cookie jar song)  
  
Yoda: Interrogate Jedi and find the perpetrator you must! Or forever will your cookies stolen will be.  
How embarassing, how embarrassing.  
  
Nar: With a wave of Yoda's hand a single spotlight appears on a chair in Windu's room and two big bouncer type Jedi appear.  
  
Yoda: The first suspect bring in!  
  
Nar: The gaurds bring in Luminara Unduli.  
  
Windu: Why, hello there! Oh look it's Lu-min-a-ra Un-duuuuuuli. Oh look at me in my big fancy headress and robes! LAlalalala!  
  
Luminara: eep  
  
Nar: Windu lunges and stares eye to eye at her.  
  
Windu: Where were you today!  
  
Luminara: Well I was...  
  
Windu: Aha! *he points at her  
  
Yoda: Say nothing she did!  
  
Windu: Aha! *he points at Yoda  
  
Yoda: down calm!  
  
Windu: * to Luminara * Have you touched my... WOOKIE COOKIES?  
  
Luminara: * pales * No, i have no idea what you are talking about...  
  
Windu: I think you do... *he grabs Luminara by the mouth and kisses her really hard  
  
Yoda: Ravish not the suspests!  
  
Nar: Control yourself!  
  
Windu: Isn't that what interrogators do?  
  
Yoda and Nar: NO!!  
  
Windu: * to luminara * Do you remember now?  
  
Luminara: Will you chain me if i don't?  
  
Yoda: This reason you don't ravish suspects! Better method have I!  
  
Nar: Yoda whisks in a Brownie and a glass of milk  
  
Yoda: Relax, brownie eat...  
  
Nar: Luminara eats the brownie and reaches for the milk, but Yoda keeps it away with the force  
  
Yoda: Now nameof perpetrator tell me!  
  
Nar: Luminara's eyes dart back and forth between Yoda and the milk. She has a stiff reesolve to not tattle,   
but then her tongue begins to swell up and her throat parch...  
  
Yoda: It was...ack...pl...Plo Koon! I told PLo there was one cookie left! *ack  
  
Nar: Luminara flops over and Yoda pours the milk over her, the gaurds take her away.  
  
Windu: Bring in... Plo Koon!  
  
Nar: the gaurds through in plo  
  
  
What will Plo say?  
Would Windu have ravished Luminara?  
What is a Wookie Cookie?  
I have no idea!  
Tune in next time when Plo Koon unlocks another part in this great mystery! 


	2. the batter thickens

The Cookie batter thickens...  
  
Nar: Plo Koon picks himself up off the floor and shakes off the dust, he   
sits.  
  
Windu: Did you steal the cookie from the wookie cookie jar?  
  
Plo: j{-.-}j  
  
Windu: yes you!  
  
Plo: j{-.-}j  
  
Windu: Than who?  
  
Yoda: one minute you wait! notice you not say nothing plo did?  
  
Windu: no, i was kinda wrapped up in the song...  
  
Yoda: *to plo * speak! i commmand you!  
  
Plo: j{-.-}j  
  
Nar: Since Plo has no speaking lines or any evidence of the capability to   
speak, he can't talk!  
  
Yoda: Plo can not talk? Egad! I summon upon our master!  
  
Nar: Yoda hops on one leg in a circle throwing dried herbs in the air.  
  
Yoda: oonu gwai bee pai xing zhou oonu gwai bee pai xing zhou oonu gwai bee   
pai xing zhou oonu gwai bee pai xing zhou....  
  
Nar: in a puff a red smoke a great bearded man appears  
  
George Lucas: ...Hello there...("..." means pause when GL speaks)  
  
Yoda: oh mighty master, predicament we have. cannot get plo koon to talk can  
we, what do we?  
  
GL: ...well...when i created the...plo koon, character...or as i wanted to   
call him, the..."kaa plo'ie" character...i thought of a kinda...noble...personage  
*waves hand around his face* while stil remaining very mysterious. he was   
supposed to represent...the 'ideal' jedi. while still remaining very alien  
  
Windu: do you mind speeding up when you talk? its very annoying  
  
Yoda: shut you up i will *to windu * *to GL* pay him no mind, speech   
impediment has he yet not  
  
GL: ...thank you... ... ... ... i suppose that for your problem Plo could  
talk by acting it out...like charades  
  
Nar: Plo waves his hands and head no   
  
Yoda: so said it shall, so written shall it, so done shall it  
  
Nar: GL vanishes in a puff of blue smoke  
  
Nar: does anyone realize how hard it will be for the narrator to do this?!   
why didn't GL just give him a mouth!  
  
WIndu: PLo! did you steall the cookie from the cookie jar?!  
  
Nar: Argh!  
  
Windu: PLo?  
  
Nar: fine... plo shakes his head no  
  
WIndu: so why did luminara tell you about the last cookie?  
  
Nar: plo points to himself...then he picks up an imaginary object and gives   
it to windu...then he points to a rock he has put on his hand and repeats   
putting the rock on and off  
  
Windu: me...give...rock... i didn't give a rock to nobody! now you talk  
straight or i will put the smackdown on your candy @ss!  
  
Yoda: up shut! understand not the speech impediment do you! Plo said   
"me pass on" *to plo * to who pass on this information did you?  
  
Nar: wait! plo can force think! duh!  
  
PLo:   
  
yoda and windu: egad!  
  
why did obi wan want a wookie cookie?  
why would anyone?  
will windu every get to the bottom of this  
will windu ever the speech impediment respect?  
find out answers to all these and more you will, next on Wookie cookie! 


	3. we could go on a diiieeet!

i'm back! and guess what! i'm back from a horrible 2 week stay in massachussetts, that go'-forsaken place w/ no tvs! arrrghhhh  
any way obi is here...  
  
Windu: So it was you who stole the cookie fromthe cookie jar?  
  
Obi: Aye! who me? *in a horrible thick irish accent  
  
Windu: Yes you!  
  
Obi: Aye couldn't be me!  
  
Windu: than who?  
  
Obi: aye! if it twasn't me, than who in great irrrrreland could it be?   
  
Yoda: Drop the accent you must! cannot take it can i!  
  
Windu: wait! isnt an accent a kind of speech impediemtn, and if so you must respect it!  
  
Yoda: aye  
  
Obi: i think i shall sing a song about the wookie cookie  
  
Windu: oh please, just because u slept with kidman doesnt mean that you can go singing all the time  
  
Obi: All you need are cookies  
  
Yoda: but those you cannot eat!  
  
Obi: all you need are cookies!  
  
Windu: i'll put the smackdown on the street!  
  
Obi: i was made for eating cookies, wookie cookies at that!  
  
Windu: once you start to eat those cookies you'll get reallly fat  
  
Obi:Just one cookie the last one!  
  
Windu: theres no way ...son!  
  
Obi: in the name of fudge! one cookie in the name of fudge!  
  
Windu: you crazy fool, i'll kick you in the nudge!  
  
Obi: dont, leave me this way  
  
yoda: shuttup!! arrrrghhh  
  
Nar: yoda takes out his gimer stick and whack obi around a bit, then ties him up and holds him over a pit of screaming fan girls  
(ie QofNaboo and Da2187leia)   
  
Yoda: Now! did you take the cookie?!  
  
Obi: no it wasnt me dont do it it was... the narrator!  
  
narr: um... no!!!!  
  
second narrator: why would a narrator want a cookie? will obi be thrown into the pit? can yoda sing too? find out the answers to these and more next time  
  
narr: you're replacing me already!!!!!! 


	4. oh lor'

i cant take it any more!!! im going back to massachusetts every weekend! arrrrgggghhhh!!!! no tv every wknd!  
  
anyway...i in addition to this story have decided to restart an old fic but dont worry! this fic is still going on! (that old fic is the thieves one) so any way im going to have to figure out this story because i cant afford to keep 2 narrators on the pay roll!  
  
  
nar2: yoda captures the voice of the narrator in the jar  
  
nar: hey! you cant do this to me!!  
  
yoda: me watch. heh heh heh  
  
windu: so, where were you when my cookie disappeared!  
  
nar: i was handling a harry potter job!  
  
yoda: egad!  
  
nar: i need the money!  
  
darthasmodeus: hey! i could go into the narrating business  
  
narr1 and nar 2: their are too many fish in the sea!  
  
darth asmodeus: no, the sea is polluted!  
  
yoda: all up shut!  
  
windu: now, why would luminara tell plo tell obi tell you there was one, last, cookie in my wookie cookie jar!!!  
  
yoda: wasnt it luminara obi plo?  
  
windu: no im pretty sure it was luminara plo obi  
  
nar: george lucas was in there right?  
  
narr2: everyone shut up!  
  
windu: okok you need not be so mean...  
  
yoda: does anyone know how to get a narrator to talk?  
  
windu: no...  
  
nar: oh well i guess yo should just...  
  
nar2: i know! i know!  
  
yoda: yes narrator 2?  
  
nar2: bring in his mother!  
  
windu: ok  
  
nar2: windu left the room and returned later with a jar and released the narrator's mother  
  
nar: windu left the room and returned later with a jar and stupidly released the narrator's mother  
  
momnar: a handsome man left the room and returned later with a most fashionable jar and kindly released a most beautiful narrator  
  
yoda: so confused am i  
  
windu: so who stole the cookie from the cookie jar, was it you?  
  
nar2: windu said  
  
nar: who me?  
  
momnar: said the narrator  
  
windu: yes you!  
  
nar2: he exclaimed  
  
nar: couldnt be!  
  
mom nar: he mocked  
  
windu: than who?  
  
nar: he questioned  
  
nar2: need i remind you you no longer have the job of a narrator!  
  
mom nar: he reprimanded  
  
nar: shut up ma!  
  
yoda: respect!  
  
mom nar: dont make me take out my belt  
  
nar2: she threatened  
  
windu: oh lor'!  
  
nar2: momnar glared at nar  
  
nar: nar throttled nar2  
  
momnar: thats it boy! its butt whoopin' time!  
  
nar2: mom nar chases nar around the room  
  
nar: narrator drags in and chases narrator2  
  
momnar: oh look! windu and yoda hide in a corner!  
  
windu and yoda: aaaaaaahhhhhhHH!!!!  
  
darth asmodeus: thats it!! i cant take it!! anymore and i will go insane!!  
  
yoda: insane you already be...  
  
darth asmodeus: up shut!! arrrghh now i talk like you!! that's it! everyone out! outoutoutout  
  
nar: darth asmodeus chases everyone out with a giant broom  
  
darth asmodeus: you too!  
  
nar: mom nar calls out from hall  
mom nar: nar2 peeps back in room  
nar2: darth asmodeus beats narrrator out with a bat  
  
darth asmodeus: there are too many narrators!!! what do i do!  
  
nar2: try talking in the 3rd person!  
  
nar: he suggests as he is beaten  
  
darth asmodeus: darth asmodeus fires all three narators out of a cannon, where they can make a sorry living narrating fairy tales because darth asmodeus is not refering them to anyone anymore!! darth asmodeus then throws out yoda  
  
darth asmodeus: not you windu...darth asmodeus drags in windu and sits him down  
  
darth asmodeus: windu, i have some bad news to tell you...  
  
  
darth asmodeus: *to audience * now usually i would bombard you with a whole bunch of suspenseful questions, but i am just so freakin' tired and i cant sleep because now i have to find another, more efficient and disciplined  
narrator, darth asmodeus collapses  
  
  
darth asmodeus: oh yah, you have all been really great through such difficult times, oy ve *gasp faint * *whisper: darth asmodeus falls to teh ground and is carted away by paramedics  
  
EMS: shush dont speak  
  
u b the 1 i thinking of  
Youre the one that im thinking of your the one that i love  
  
under my umbrella 


	5. the last cookie

just a side note: the following text was just the names of songs i forgot to delete before posting the chapter so u can just forget ahout it:  
u b the 1 i thinking of  
Youre the one that im thinking of your the one that i love  
under my umbrella  
end side note  
  
  
  
  
  
darth asmodeus: windu, i have some terrible news   
  
windu: what is it?  
  
darth asmodues: your cookie has run away.  
  
windu: what?!  
  
da: yes, im sorry but, it just couldn't take it anymore.  
  
windu: why oh why, woe is me...  
  
da: it hated being opressed, being the bottom of the barrel, living with other nutty cookies, and it couldn't accept its destiny. it packed its crumbs in a   
bag and left a note. i took the note to spare you the pain  
  
windu: sob  
  
da: i apparently did not forsee this whole string of idiocy that occured because of your cookie's disapearrance, i am terribly sorry it won't happen again  
  
windu: boohoo  
  
narrator3: darth asmodeus escorted a crushed windu out of the room, patting him reassuredly on his back  
  
DA: who's there?  
  
narrator 3: darth asmodeus looked up, and questioned the stars  
  
darth asmodeus: i know i didn't hire anyone!  
  
nar3: DA left the room  
  
DA: i most certainly did not! i hope you realize that your not getting paid because you just popped up. i am broke.  
  
nar3: bloody 'ell! i am the finest narrator in all of fanfiction.net, from a long line of Lees, Purringhams, and Smiths! and some one turns me down!!??  
  
DA: oh my! i didn't know it was you, all my budds were telling me wat an honor it was to have you as a narrator  
  
supreme nar: thank you  
  
da: im terribly sorry but this fic is over, and...  
  
supreme narr: it doesn't have to be, see look: obi walks in  
  
obi: yo  
  
DA: no thank but may i tell you about...  
  
supreme nar: obi leaves and padme in backless dress walks in  
  
DA: ( O.O)   
  
supreme narr: if you continue i get to do all the talking!!  
  
DA: as enticing as that sounds...wait maybe...no! anyway i have another fic coming up where a SW newscast reports on the disappearance of the   
wookie cookie? interested?  
  
supreme nar: well i guess...  
  
DA: oh great thanks!!  
  
supreme narr: DA turns to padme  
  
DA: now ass for you, do you want weather or fashion? both have skimpy outfits because personally i feel you are always overdressed, a big fashion   
no no...  
  
supreme narr: DA and padme walk off into the the sunset arm in arm...  
  
SN: well now that everyone has left (that scum) i have a captive audience  
  
narr4: Sup Nar rubbed his hands in glee  
  
SN: ahhh! who's there?  
  
narr5: oh that's just tim!  
  
sup narr: why are you here? get out this is my gig!  
  
narr4: when the fic's author leaves any narr can come in  
  
SN: have you no respect! do you know who i am?!  
  
narr5: psht like we care  
  
SN: oh! narrators these days... this is my audience and i need you all to get out!  
  
audience: help us!  
  
all narr: shutup!!  
  
narr lawyer: according to this legal document when a fic's author leaves the fic it becomes property of ff.net  
  
narr 4 and 5: die!  
  
SN: oh lor'!  
  
audience: eep!  
  
darth asmodeus: oh whoops i left the computer on... *click flip  
  
  
  
  
  
fin 


End file.
